Everyone’s story is different. Same goes for everyone’s birth experiences. And my birth experience left a scar. A scar that reminds me of the sweetest gift, my amazing daughter!
Please do keep in mind I had a cold c-section. My original preference was an elective scheduled c-section. 2020 was so unpredictable and my pregnancy had an excessive numbers of twists and turns, ups and downs so a set date with an elective c-section was how I felt like I had some control.
Well because of our early IUGR diagnosis we were constantly being monitored. A c-section was still possible but because she needed to be delivered at 37 weeks we were encouraged to consider induction. The pressures and hormones released during a vaginal birth help baby’s prepare for life on the outside like rid their lungs of liquid. So 4 days before we decided we would proceed with induction, something we knew little about. We were just going to go for it.
Well day-of, after reviewing our NST results and other factors we were scheduled for a c-section that afternoon. So again this was a cold c-section meaning I wasn't in labor and there were no immediate health dangers to either myself or the baby that would warrant an emergency c-section. I imagine many of these tips will still be helpful but the experience itself may be different if the c-section was an emergency.
As someone who enjoyed reading all the books to feel “prepared” and since April is C-section Awareness Month I wanted to share my insights after my cesarean section experience for all those future mamas out there. These are just some of my thoughts, things I didn’t expect, and tips that helped.
1. It is a major abdominal surgery. I know thats an obvious statement but I think because it’s a quite common procedure we tend to forget. It also means you’ll have a longer recovery time and hospital stay (48-72 hours).
2. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Meeting, holding and taking care of your baby is so exciting and all you’ll want to do is take care and cuddle your little one, but don’t forget to take care of yourself. Your body needs time to recover as well. Try and get some rest. Your body will thank you. While your sleeping is a great time for your baby and partner to bond.
3. Move around as soon as possible. Once you regain feeling after the epidural try and get up to slowly move around your room. The sooner that you can get up and move around, the faster healing will occur. Yes it will be painful but the movement helps prevent issues like blood clots. Have your partner or a nurse help you the first couple times. And you won't be able to stand up straight. You’ll be waddling around all hunched over. Don’t push it, allow your body time to recover, which is easier said because you’ll want to get up and care for your baby, but rely on your partner or nurse. It took a long time for me to be able to move my toes and legs again. And when I tried to stand I felt dizzy and nauseous. Therefore I spent the first night with air compressors around my calves to help prevent deep vein thrombosis and keep good blood flow circulation. Each time you move around it gets a little easier. Basically I did feedings and my husband did everything else, especially during the first week.
4. Push up to sitting from your side. You probably were already doing this at 9 months pregnant, but roll/turn your body parallel to the edge of the bed before pushing against the bed with your opposite hand to sit up. Your muscles have been cut and therefore putting the pressure on your abs is quite painful.
5. Make a playlist. Most operating rooms will allow your music to be played through their speakers during the procedure. I found this very calming as I could focus on the songs versus what was happening behind the curtain. Just make sure to bring an audio dongle (they should have but just in case) and make a playlist that is at least 1.5 hours long. The procedure itself lasts about 10 minutes - they can do it in as little as 3 in an emergency - then followed by about 40 minutes of stitching you back up.
6. Ask for a warm blanket. Besides being cozy, it will help ease post-birth uterus cramps and pain at the incision site. I wish I had asked for one sooner.
7. Bring cough drops. Tightening movements like a cough, sneeze, or laugh are incredibly painful after a c-section—not joking, it was ROUGH—because your muscles have literally been sliced open. Sucking on cough drops saved me from the dry air in the hospital. Seriously ouch! Do note pillows make excellent splints. Just hold it tightly over your belly.
8. Ask for help. Seriously take all the extra help you can get. I'm sure that’s not what nurses want me to say, but they are the professionals. Don't feel like you're being too needy. You just had a major surgery and are suddenly the primary caregiver to this helpless tiny human. These nurses are technically the most expensive, knowledgable nannies. Ask all the questions! Once you get home you’re on your own. That being said also ask for help when you get home even if it’s just for routine tasks like washing pump parts, doing laundry, and/or making or picking up meals.
9. Don’t skip your meds. The nurses will be in hourly-isa not only to check on your little one, but to monitor and care for you. When they bring you pain relievers or stool softeners, take them! And continue to take them when you get home.
10. Basically everyone in the hospital will see you naked. Not 100% true but it sure feels like it. You’re fully exposed in prep for the c-section, then nurses will come in often to check your bleeding and incision, your boobs are frequently out from breastfeeding, and then there is a shift change so a whole other set of nurses and doctors will see you too.
11. Feeling during the surgery. You’ll receive an epidural or meds that will numb your body from the armpits down. I was expecting to be fully numb and I was in the sense I couldn’t move my body at all (it’s such a weird sensation), but I wasn’t expecting to feel things during the surgery. It’s mostly pressure or pulling - nothing painful - but you’ll know something going on behind the curtain.
12. Expect prolonged numbness (or crotch pain). Still at five months postpartum I still have areas around my incision scar that are tingly or numb. They are sensitive to touch and certain fabrics. It’s normal. Tons of nerves were cut during the surgery and they will take time to heal. As for crotch pain…ouch! Starting about 2 weeks postpartum I would get this intense achy pain in the center of my pubic bone. Essentially baby’s head can press on your pelvic bones a certain way that it may create a gap between two bones at the front of your pelvis. These bones are connected by a ligament that because of relaxin (a hormone released during pregnancy) is stretch more easily. It’s called separated postpartum pubic symphysis, and it sucks. Simple movements like sitting or standing too long can, using stairs, or sitting cross-legged can irritate it. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to prevent it, only take the occasional acetaminophen and avoid activities that could irritate it. It will go away eventually. Mine eased up around month three. Thank goodness because there were nights when it ached so bad I couldn’t sleep. Sleeping with a good knee pillow seemed to help.
13. Hormones are real. As after any delivery your hormones are flowing! You are holding your baby for the first time, you are a mom, and you are a family. To say emotions are running high would be an understatement. These increased hormones will make everything seems 100x more amazing but also 100x more painful. I spent a good portion of the first 24 hours crying.
14. Nauseated, cold and itchy. All are common side effects of the meds administered during a c-section. Some people don’t experience them or if you’re like me you’ll get to experience all three. Hooray! During the first half of my procedure I started to feel sick to my stomach and like there was cold flowing around my neck and between my shoulder blades. I let the anesthesiologist know and he was able to add something to the mixture that calmed my stomach. Once baby was delivered my arms felt weak and very heavy so our daughter was handed to my husband after she passed her checks. They sat next to and cuddled with me for the majority of the “stitching back up” portion of the surgery. My husband and daughter were taken to recovery for the final 5 minutes of my OR time. Once in recovery my bed was elevated and we tried nursing. Then later when we were in our room my legs got really itchy, apparently another side effect as the meds wear off. Lotion made me feel like I was fixing it but it eased quite quickly.
15. You may not immediately connect with your baby. I’ve only had a c-section but from lots of people who reached out to me postpartum this is fairly common no matter how you delivered. Of course I loved my baby, I just didn't have that euphoric “I’m a mom and this is my baby” moment that I was expecting. Probably an expectation I had created based on movies and media. Don’t get me wrong plenty of people experience it in that way. That just wasn’t my experience. In fact it took me a couple months before I felt like my baby and I were truly connected. For the first bit it feels like your baby just takes and takes. They need help with everything and your reward is sleep deprivation, a painful scar, and sore boobs. Everything changed for me once our little one started smiling purposefully. Her eyes would light up when she saw us and that was it for me. I felt like she was giving us something back. Hang in there mama, it’s worth it!!!! On the opposite end, if you feel like you are getting worse do not be afraid to seek help. Postpartum depression is more common than you think. There are communities of mamas online with first hand knowledge and doctors that can help. You are not alone.
