Reposted from December 10, 2018
So we just celebrated our 4 month wedding anniversary and I still—and am sure I always will feel—so grateful for such an amazing, magical day. We are beyond blessed for the beauty of the day and the generosity of our parents that made our dream a reality.
Seriously it was the best, but the sad fact is now our wedding is over. The event we spent a year planning, and even longer dreaming about.
I loved every minute of it, but now that it was a few months ago I occasionally will feel a pulling on my sleeve of the sad reminder that our wedding day has come and gone. I’ve struggle with acknowledging it because I love my husband, I love that our closest friends were all in one place, I love that everything was 100% more than I imagined, and that it was filled with joy, laughter, love, and dancing.
But the fact is, it was a life milestone. A milestone that we checked off the bucket list of life.
It’s not that I am necessarily depressed, more like I don’t know what to do with myself. Perhaps slumps the right word. Wedding planning consumed the majority of my days this year so I feel anxious now that there is less to do.
Apparently it’s not uncommon for newlyweds to feel a bit down after the big day. So much time, effort, pressure, and love was put on crafting the perfect day for an extended period of time and in the blink of an eye it’s done.
It’s like coming down from a high. Suddenly the bubble of bliss has popped and everyday reality has set back in. It’s called the Post-Wedding Blues. And it’s a real, common scientifically-researched thing.
Fortunately there are simple ways to combat the Post-Wedding Blues that we have found to stop looking backwards, allow us to appreciate the big day and planning process, and remind us of the great things to come.
The key is to recognize the wedding day as the beginning of a marriage, not just the end of the wedding.
Acknowledge That The Post-Wedding Slumps Are Real
They really do exist. There are countless articles and studies online, which means you are not alone. Both brides and grooms can suffer from them. It’s important not to dwell on the feelings or let the feelings affect other areas of your life. Acknowledge them and move on.
Set Aside Time To Envision The Future
During planning, it’s important to set aside time to discuss the future—what married life will be like, plans for future, expectations, etc. These conversations help shift the focus from just the wedding day to what’s to come in the future.
Create A Mood Board For Your Marriage
Remember those mood boards that were created for you wedding? Do the same for your marriage—a marriage vision board if you will. Find inspiration for what you want your marriage to look like—new experiences, new places, new recipes, etc. Go ahead pre-plan date nights. Make your marriage the focus, not the ceremony. Plus it’s a fun bonding experience.
Consider Spacing Out Your Wedding & Honeymoon
Besides allowing you two to organize and settle after the wedding, it also gives y’all something else to look forward to. Most couples are too busy planning the ceremony and reception to have enough time to really plan the honeymoon. The free time post-wedding will give you that opportunity.
Don’t Keep It Bottled Up
Your significant other is there now—for better or for worse. Moping can really put a damper on your newlywed bliss and can even cause concerns in your new life. Letting them know you’re feeling down gives them the chance to be supportive, and takes away any blame strain off your relationship.
Make Everyday Events Exciting
A marriage should strive to have laughter and joy at some point every day. It helps couples stay connected and enjoy each other. Make your spouse’s favorite meal after a long week at work, host a game night with your friends, learn something together, or even enjoy a “spa” night at home. Focus on the small things that bring joy to your life.
Set New Goals To Look Forward To The goals can be short-term or long-term, immediate or enduring. Anything from decorating a room or trying a new recipe to planning a six-month anniversary trip or even movie night. Something to continue that feeling of excitement as you transition into your married life.
Identify The Underlying Issue
As exciting as wedding planning and the events themselves were, the lack of them may not actually be the issue. For example we found that I was using wedding planning as an excuse to put off tasks that were on my list. Wedding took priority at the time, but now that we’re almost all wrapped up it’s time for me to final face those tasks I found stressful or daunting and was happy to put off with wedding planning as an excuse. Which leads to my last point…
Put Your Energy Into Something Else
Put your energy int your relationship first, then use the remainder to start something you’ve been putting off. I’ve been putting my efforts into dejunking, organizing, and writing. Having a small To Do list everyday helps me stay focused and feel productive.
Have y’all had any of these feelings since your big day? If so I’d love to hear how you were able to pull yourself out of the slump. If you’re in wedding countdown mode, hopefully these ideas will help you avoid post-event blues.
Either way, the best advice is definitely to view your wedding as the start of a new chapter, not an end goal.
